After a lot of contemplation, I have decided that I will no longer write on this blog. I will not delete it but there will be no new updates.

As my 20's are now winding down and I find my focus shifting I have decided to start another blog.

I have been working on a book and am trying so hard to build my own business. This new blog will document the process and hopefully will be funny.

bitterpudding.blogspot.com

Thank you all for visiting and (hopefully) enjoying my ramblings.

Apparently I've Been Tagged

The rules are that I must post 8 things that people do not know about me. I'm also supposed to tag 8 other people. Unfortunately the only people I know for reals have already tagged me or been tagged. So here you go bitches.

ONE:

I pretty much only took my current job in order to write a book about the experience

TWO:

I could seriously give a flying fuck about not having any friends in my hometown. I'm quite content with the small select group that currently occupies my space. I don't need any bright new shiny toys I love the worn in ones I have (maybe it sounds bad but I don't care)

THREE

I'm over all of the nonsense about feel bad about myself for stupid things. I'm over feel not good enough based on my looks. Its tired and girl I threw that shit away

FOUR

I deeply regret the majority of the romantic relationships I've had in my entire life. I've truly hated the person I was in most of those situations and feel disgusted when I think about it

FIVE

I'm pretty sure that my new boss is the actual devil and that somehow his operation also collects souls not just lonely hearts.

SIX

I have an embarassing schoolgirl crush on Mike Rowe of Dirty Jobs. I want to have his babies.

SEVEN

I have zero desire to leave my moms house. I love it here. Its filled with positivity and love. I feel good all the time when I'm here. I couldn't imagine living by myself right now Its too snuggly here.

EIGHT

Even though things aren't "perfect" I actually really like the place I'm in right now and the person I am.

Yenta

So Kids, Mama's finally got herself a gig and what a gig it is. This is a job that I couldn't have dreamed up even with all the time in the world. What may you ask is this job? Why I'm going to be a matchmaker. Seriously? Yes. Seriously.

I was scrolling through my local craigslist job listings and found myself scrolling to the bottom of the page due to someone commenting on an inappropriate personal assistant ad (apparently the ad asked for the assistant to be attracted, uninhibited and open minded..hmmm). So I scrolled down trying to find the ad (whatever don't judge. You would totally do the same - perv). And there like a beacon at the bottom of the page was the heading "Matchmaker Wanted". I answered the ad and was worried since the ad was old. But a few hours later my interview was set.

Kids this is the perfect job. Its a chance to have fun and have a job that won't feel like a real job. plus I've decided to pen a book while working at this matchmaking company. I can just see it and I know it would be awesome. So things seem to be looking up. Plus I'm convinced that surrounding myself with so much love will inevitable bring love into my life.

For five months I have been actively and tirelessly looking for a job and nothing has happened. NOTHING. i don't understand what is wrong with me. I've submitted my resume to well over 200 jobs as well as countless recruiters and only 2 recruiters have called me. Both recruiters express with amazement how could it be that I don't have a job with such a fantastic resume? If its so damn good then why does no one want to hire me? What is the problem?

I'm starting to feel really shitty about myself. Its not my fault I'm smart and I have been trusted to do so many different things at the jobs I've worked. I've apparently taken myself out of the running by being a good employee. How the fuck does that work? I work my ass off at any job I go into and I do the damn thing and that makes me unhireable.

I'm thisclose to writing a cover letter that says "You should hire my because I will do my job and the job of three other people. I will work my ass off for you as long as you leave me the hell alone and pay me well" or changing everything on my resume to something inferior to what I've already done. I'm starting to consider changing titles and duties and taking off my college degree to see if it helps me get a job. Its just ridiculous. If Bill Clinton was still president I would have a damn job. Fuck you very much Bush.

Complete Circle

So back in January (which I declared Fuckuary) my New Year started out with a bang. Literally. That bang? My tire exploding driving home from my New Years Eve party. That flat tire was the start of a long line of me getting fucked in the ass on a regular basis by the universe.

Lately things have not been good. I've been hoping and intending for things to get better and alas nothing. Today I got a flat tire. I was pissed to all hell. It was as if out of the blue the tire went flat. I hadn't driven over anything or sliced a curb or anything like that. I went for a walk to try and get the negative stuff out and all of a sudden it came to me - the flat tire was the start of my crap dump maybe this new flat tire is the end of my crap dump. I ran home because I decided I had to change the tire right at that moment. It felt so important to do it at that moment.

So tomorrow is going to be a new day. I believe it will be getting better from here.