Doubled Sided Double Standards

After spending a troublesome week and a half at home with the family over the holidays I have been brought to the conclusion that my family thinks my life is completely empty because I do not have a boyfriend. Which I find so incredbily alarming in my matriarchial family. My entire family is ruled by strong, independent women who are all about being themselves and being complete on their own and not allowing men to define them. Yet when it comes to me the standard is no longer the standard. Hmmm. Interesting is it not? I think what it comes down to is that they are worried that all of their "you don't need a man" talk actually sunk in and that I'm actually a happy and fulfilled person without a man. Who would've thought that being raised to believe something would take affect and that I'd grow up and believe it?? Someone get Ripley on the phone and dig up PT Barnum because I found the real Cardiff Giant.

It just completely amazes me that women who came into womenhood during the '60's could even begin to say to me that I need a man in order for my life to be something; in order for it to mean something to the world. Isn't it good enough that I graduated from college, graduated from graduate school, got myself a good high paying job, have a great circle of friends and a never dry well of social functions to attend? Apparently unbeknownest to me I'm suffering in a horrible, deep, dark hell. I didn't know. I'm so glad that on Christmas Eve everyone felt the need to tell me how empty my life is - whew that was a close call I could have possibly continued on with my life actually believing that I was happy. Thank God I missed jumping off that cliff.

Then what I love even more is when I tell my family well I've met this guy and this guy and this guy but I just don't think it will happen - it will then ilicit all sorts of comments because guy #1 isn't white and well guy #2 is Muslim and they heard guy #3 was unattractive. Well what the hell - the white flag has been raised, my arms are up don't shoot what do you want from me? I love hearing the rascist rumblings of my supposedly all accepting family. Even better yet is that the most rascist statements come out of the mouth of my 16 year old cousin. Yeah how hard is it to find a boyfriend in High School? And she has the luxury of being hard on me because you can't swing a cat in the town I grew up in and not hit like 16 elgible guys.

I guess all I'm trying to say is that I think its an unfair standard that has been set by my kin. Its absolute garbage that I was brought up to believe that I was the only one who was responsible for and in charge of my own happiness. Apparently now that I have headed this wisdom it is incorrect and I am pathetic and sad for having ever believed it to begin with. I just don't see what's being wrong with being fulfilled in your life and happy with everything that you have been blessed with. Granted it would be nice to meet someone but its not my driving force, it doesn't get me out of bed in the morning. If nothing else its an after thought which may be why I don't have anyone. who knows? I feel that everything in my life has taken a path for a certain reason so maybe this is just something that will be put on hold which quite frankly doesn't irk me or make me believe that I'll be some crazy spinster living with 100 cats knitting them clothing. If that does happen hopefully I'll just go insane and enjoy the ride.