The Squeaky Wheel Gets the Grease

So everything has been worked out with my charming and amazing Boyfriend. Let’s just say not enough credit is given to laying in the dark talking quietly with your honey. I swear more bonding happens in that 20-30 minutes before one of us falls asleep then in an entire 12 hour date. It’s amazing what the dark does. It strips away a lot of anxiety and self consciousness about what you want to say or are about to say. Boyfriend and I talk about a lot of very personal and intimate things laying there in the dark. It’s like even though we are an inch away from each other we feel infallible and completely protected under the cloak of darkness. I know for me I never feel vulnerable when I lie next to him. All I feel is safe and secure.

Fluke or Fate?

Well I’ve been with the boyfriend going on a few months now and we just had our first time away together. He took me to his home town to hang out and meet some of his friends and potentially the parents – which I did not get to meet and was semi-disappointed about though at the same time Boyfriend knew I was sort of freaking out about it so I think he re-arranged our schedule due to that. Regardless we had a wonderful time and it was a great bonding experience and I was terribly sad to go home. You see he had to stay behind to finish up things like selling his house which is something I know he is really upset about having to do and after seeing it I see why.

I keep trying so hard to lock the door on my past experiences because I know Boyfriend is not like any of those other guys that have come before him. But it seems at times I just cannot stop myself from thinking that Boyfriend is doing things just like ex-boyfriends. I wish there was a pill you could take that would dissolve your emotional baggage so you could start off every relationship daisy fresh and not carrying any crazy crap into the new one. I think part of the problem is that Boyfriend is everything I’ve ever wanted in a man but have never been able to find and that everyone told me does not exist. So its very difficult to believe in something that doesn’t even seem real to begin with.

My wonderful, charming, sophisticated friends keeps trying to remind me that it isn’t a fluke that its fate and that I need to stop thinking it’s a fluke and start realizing that it is in fact fate. Which just seems a little hard to swallow.