Adventures in Dating

Not that I want this blog to turn into one giant rant about dating --- but it is a large part of being in your twenties is naviagating through these particularly murky waters. I’m finding it so difficult to rationalize and understand men. The older I get the more complicated everything becomes. It’s quite frustrating. My friends believe that you should be a free agent until someone proposes a fair contract. Now that’s never been something that I’ve been able to do nor have I really ever felt like I could date multiple men. But apparently my eggs are going to get crushed if I keep them in the same basket or something to that effect. So I guess I have to diversify my egg collecting baskets. These metaphors (these are metaphors right? Whatever not the point) are confusing.

As you may recall (or scroll down the page to remember) I’ve lamented for a simpler time.  It may be possible that watching too many John Hughes movies has completely screwed up my idea of romance and falling in love. Exactly where the hell is John Cusack and Peter Gabriel’s In Your Eyes? Then again inevitably the guy who would do that would be someone who is completely obsessed with and then you have to go down to the police station and fill out all the paperwork and honestly who has time for all of that?

I think too many false expectations have somehow pushed their way into my mind. I often find myself thinking things and feeling things and I have no idea why I feel that way or why I’m thinking something that I honestly do not believe. I think sometimes irrationality completely beats the crap out of all of your rational thoughts and you’re stuck feeling absolutely crazed.  For some reason or another it’s as if my mind cannot comprehend solid facts like things just cannot be that easy. It cannot be as simple as he liked you, he wants to see you again there MUST be something else going on. I have no idea how the hell I’ve gotten programmed that way and I would love for it to stop. I think I need some serious deprogramming if anyone knows of anyone who is trained in helping victims of brainwashing I would be much obliged.

It just amazes me that vibrant, confident and incredible women (myself included) can feel so diminished by a man. It is so mind boggling. What is wrong with our culture where so much pressure is put upon us to be searching and hunting for a man. Granted I want to get married and I want to have babies but that is a fairly new feeling. Up until a few years ago I really never saw myself married or even in a monogamous relationship. I really thought that I would jump from lover to lover to lover for the rest of my life and die with a closet full of very sexy skeletons. Well at this point I have a closet full of super sexy skeletons and I want to permanently lock that door. It’s just frustrating to feel ready and to not have the rest of the world moving at the same pace.