I Hate People

I totally need to rant here. I am so glad that I am leaving my job soon enough. My boss is a complete psycho. I work in Human Resources and part of my job is to walk around and be seen. People need to feel that they can come and talk to me and that I'm available for chats, questions whatever.

Well today, my boss tells me that I've been spending too much time talking to a few employees. I explain to her that one of these people who I've been "wasting" time with has been speaking to me about how to handle a few problems she's having with employees. The other are employees who pull me into chats just to get some of my time. I tell her I try not to let it interfere with my time and my work but its difficult for me to walk away since I don't feel thats diplomatic. So she says I need to figure out how to walk away. I ask her how can I walk away when an employee is pouring out to me about problems they are having? She tells me to figure out a way. I tell her I cannot have employees think I'm cold or unapproachable. She didn't care.

What is comes down to is that in the two years she has been at the company SHE has not earned a good reputation. NO ONE comes to her with problems, other then Senior Managers. The "regular" people come to me. They come to me to complain, to vent to tell me things they overhear. They never come to her. She is COMPLETELY jealous that I'm well liked and well treated at the company. She wishes people liked her. But, she walks around with a giant stick up her ass and acts like she never wants to hear peoples problems and acts like a total bitch when people do come to her about things. And she never does anything to resolve the problems anyway.

Recently an employee who had already resigned but was riding out her last two weeks come to me during lunch time totally frantic and just says I need to talk to you. I take her into my boss' office since she was out of lunch and she unloads on me. Tells me all about problems she is having with some of the other people she works with and how one of them threw a stack of papers on her desk and walked away. Those stack of papers, her private emails talking about how this particular person was not pulling their weight and how frustrated she was. Once again she came to me, not the director of human resources, me the junior. Everyone comes to me for everything. Everyone trusts me and wants my advice.

God she is such a jealous hag. I can just see in her eyes she hates me. She is so mad that I'm liked and fun and she is just miserable and as I said before a hag. She's a complete cow. Total cow. Moo, moo, moo.

Time to Walk Away

So a friend of mine sent me an email the other day stating she no longer wished to be friends because it seemed that I was no longer interested in her life.

Why did all this happen you may ask? I had a busy week and a half and was unable to sit on the phone with her for hours. My hectic week made her believe that I was no longer interested in her friendship.

I was not upset when I received her email. I had been waivering for a while whether or not to end the friendship, though i was sort of planning on taking the cowards way out and just sort of letting us drift once I moved. I started to realize that there were a lot of things that I liked about this friend but she was changing and not for the better. There is such thing as too much therapy and too much self attention. She went from this sweet woman to this self centered, egotistical terror. Everything had become about her and if you said anything you were jerk since she was learning for the first time how to assert herself and she was taking control of her life and learning all of these things about herself.

Look, I do not discount therapy and all of those things. They do wonders for people. But when all therapy does is turn you into a self centered brat thats not okay. Thats not the point of therapy. I get if someone feels as if they've been walked over or have no boundaries to start to stand up for themselves but you don't do that with friends. I don't know very many people who take a "my way or the highway" stance with people they love.

I guess I'm just confused. I've always had independent friends. You know the kinds of friendships where you can go weeks, months, potentially years without speaking to these people then out of the blue pick it back up with nothing more then "hey, things have been CRAZY!! What's up with you" and its as if no time as passed. I thought this friendship I had was like that and I thought i had gotten rid of all the people in my life who were co-dependent friends. I guess thats not true. Its sad.

Bird in the Nest

Wow, so I haven't posted in forever. My apologies to my readers, if I have them.

So much has been happening and so many things have been flying around me. As I previosuly stated my January sucked hardcore. I decided to step back to think about why things weren't going right and why I was feeling so unhappy and uncomfortable in my life. The pattern that started to emerge was that I was longing for my kin, I wanted to to be home and I hated living where I was living. As a result everything was sucking since I was so unhappy with my surroundings. I then made the decision that I was just going to pack it up and go back with my family.

The call to my mom felt tough and I'm not sure why. I knew I needed to tell her my plan and have her buy in without I would just have to stay put. As soon as I told her I wanted to move back she said that she already knew. That she had a feeling that was what my plan was and in fact the day before she had told my aunt that she expected to hear the same from me.

I told her I was planning on leaving here at the end of April and moving back there are that time. I keep wavering between leaving in the middle of May or the end of April. I think I'm finally settled on end of April. I'm just tired of here and need to get out. I feel like the world is going to open for me as soon as I move. I feel as if everything I want and need will come together and it will completely blow my mind.

It is also important to note that once I made the decision to move back to my family the universe called off the dogs. Everything got crazy easy. I don't know if its because I stopped letting stuff bother me since I knew I was out or if it just was like okay, good job you figured it out now we can take it easy on you.

My focus has shifted so much. My eyes are set towards the future and I'm leaving behind a lot of stuff and just letting it lay. All I care about right now is getting my stuff straight so I can leave at the end of April. Its like all that I'm living for is the end of April. I have so much to get done and such a little time to do so. But its invigorating not overwhelming. I just feel like things will be wonderful.

Granted, I probably won't find a job before I get down there. But I'm not worried. For the first time in my life I'm not worried. I don't have a care in the world. I'm totally confident that everything will work out the way it needs to and the way that it is supposed to. I just have this newfound joy and happiness in my heart. I can't wait.