Bird in the Nest

Wow, so I haven't posted in forever. My apologies to my readers, if I have them.

So much has been happening and so many things have been flying around me. As I previosuly stated my January sucked hardcore. I decided to step back to think about why things weren't going right and why I was feeling so unhappy and uncomfortable in my life. The pattern that started to emerge was that I was longing for my kin, I wanted to to be home and I hated living where I was living. As a result everything was sucking since I was so unhappy with my surroundings. I then made the decision that I was just going to pack it up and go back with my family.

The call to my mom felt tough and I'm not sure why. I knew I needed to tell her my plan and have her buy in without I would just have to stay put. As soon as I told her I wanted to move back she said that she already knew. That she had a feeling that was what my plan was and in fact the day before she had told my aunt that she expected to hear the same from me.

I told her I was planning on leaving here at the end of April and moving back there are that time. I keep wavering between leaving in the middle of May or the end of April. I think I'm finally settled on end of April. I'm just tired of here and need to get out. I feel like the world is going to open for me as soon as I move. I feel as if everything I want and need will come together and it will completely blow my mind.

It is also important to note that once I made the decision to move back to my family the universe called off the dogs. Everything got crazy easy. I don't know if its because I stopped letting stuff bother me since I knew I was out or if it just was like okay, good job you figured it out now we can take it easy on you.

My focus has shifted so much. My eyes are set towards the future and I'm leaving behind a lot of stuff and just letting it lay. All I care about right now is getting my stuff straight so I can leave at the end of April. Its like all that I'm living for is the end of April. I have so much to get done and such a little time to do so. But its invigorating not overwhelming. I just feel like things will be wonderful.

Granted, I probably won't find a job before I get down there. But I'm not worried. For the first time in my life I'm not worried. I don't have a care in the world. I'm totally confident that everything will work out the way it needs to and the way that it is supposed to. I just have this newfound joy and happiness in my heart. I can't wait.