Hmph...

So I still haven't heard a peep out of Einstein. One of my girlfriends keeps telling me that its not about me that its about him so I need to get over it and be more detached. She's probably right. He got this started with me and now has to clean up his own mess. This would not have been a problem had he just talked about not being exclusive while she was gone. I believe everything happens for a reason but I don't see why this and why now. Einstein and I were supposed to meet so many times before we actually did. Why now when he is in this unhappy miserable relationship? Am I supposed to be the kick in the ass to get him out of it? I don't know. I don't think that I should be part of this equation. He should be deciding to leave his relationship because he is unhappy not because he has met me. I don't want to be the reason he breaks it off or cuts it back with this girl. He needs to be the reason to do that.

All I want to hear is what's going on. I just want to know what he's thinking. My speculations are without a doubt a million times worse then anything he could ever tell me. What is it with guys? Seriously. You're confused, that's fine I don't need you to be a answer key here chief. I just need to know the status. Okay, so you're going to Argentina great. Are we giving this a shot when you get back? Are you going down there to try and work it out? (though how you work out not being attracted to your girlfriend is beyond me). I just want to know. I have no problem waiting to start dating him but I just need to know that there is this wait time and how long its going to be and what the hell is going on.

I just don't like feeling as if I do not matter. I think thats what is really getting me. I know its not about me but I can't help but feel that way. He knows I know he's going to see her and he hasn't said anything to me. I don't know if he just doesn't know what to say or if he believes he does not have a responsiblity to me. Not to sound like a 5 year old, but he started this! He turned our first hanging out alone into a date. He turned our second time hanging out into a date. He's the one who kissed me and took me by the hand and acting like a big giant gentleman, dammit. How can I resist that?