It's About Damn Time

Yesterday produced an interesting turn of events. The morning brought with it an email with the subject "Thursday Night" and the text enclosed was "What are you into Thursday night?". This email was from Boyfriend. We have not seen each other in about a month and a half and I had sort of convinced myself that we were never going to see each other again. To say I was surprised is a gross understatement. So I wrote him back to ask why he was asking. Well when Boyfriend came back from his recent trip to his hometown he brought back with him the redneck game of Cornhole (you throw a beanbag into a hole on a big ass piece of plywood). He excitedly made his Cornhole boards and has been telling everyone he knows about this game. So he decided to get a little game together with some co-workers and decided to include me in the festivities. Well I got concerned.

What if everything felt, weird? Awkward? Uncomfortable? All of these things went through my mind reading this email. I intitally wrote back and said sure I'll come for the event both Wednesday & Thursday night. Then the more I thought about it the more I said to myself I don't know if that feels right. We haven't seen each other in a long time and who knows how I'll feel and who knows how he'll feel. So we went back and forth on email and finally I just said I'm calling you so we can talk. Boyfriend didn't get that I would want to spend time with him alone before spending time with him in a group setting. He was worried that us spending three nights together would be dangerous and I reminded him that I'm not some lovesick 14 year old who doesn't get that we're still in limbo. I understand the situation and I know what is going on between us I just want to make sure that it isn't weird.

So he came up last night and it felt like no time had passed. I forgot how comfortable I am with him and how easy it is to be around him. We both just fell into step with one another. It just felt like any other night that we've spent time together.

I knew I missed him but I don't think I realize how much. This morning I found myself overanalyzing and saying to myself does this mean we are going to start dating again? And I had to stop myself and I've really decided that I'm not going to steer anything that if we do start dating again great if we don't then thats fine too. I'm just pleased that he has finally wanted to see me after all this time. It was just a good feeling being with him again last night.