Trying Hard

So, I had a long talk to myself about my current situation. I have always been in a pattern of wanting to have faith and confidence in people usually despite evidence to the contrary. I realized that LA boy may have a geniune interest in me but that he places work as items 1-10 and I cannot be that far down the list. Once you start counting friends and family I'm easily number 20 on his list of things to do (not like that you scamps).

My wonderful girlfriend who is mirroring my life said to me today, "why do they do this to begin with?". I told her I didn't know. I said LA Boy coud have walked away in Vegas got on his plane and that would have been the end. Instead he practically begged me to stay in touch and starting talking about plans to visit, I did nothing but stand by and receive. It just does not make any sense. Granted a person cannot know ahead of time that they are going to act like a gigantic idiot, can they? We don't always know when we are going to drop the ball or walk away from something potentially good. I cannot fault him. He is a good guy, he just loves works WAY too much. I don't want to judge him but I also don't think I could be with someone who loves their job that much that they have no passion for anything else in life. I love life a lot. I'm passionate about everything that crosses my path, I need someone who has that same fire in their belly for life.

As I told my girlfriend these guys may not be right for us or maybe down the road they will be. Whatever the purpose I can see that we are both learning lessons. We are starting to listen to our guts. We both figured all this out fairly quickly in comparision to other times in our lives, I think that the more women in general start to trust their heart and their gut the easier it is to sort of float through situations and come out unscathed. I personally do not believe that the message here is to stop having faith in people, I think that is a beautiful trait to possess. One of these days I'm going to heap my faith on the right person, now is just not that time.